Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Gorillaz (as far as I remember it)

Shit. What the fuck happened last night? Did the Gorillaz just play their last show EVER? Did The Clash just get back together? Why is that dude from 'Blur' tattooed on my girlfriend’s tity? Did I really see Bobby Womack wearing Bishop Don Juan’s suit? Nah, must have been the acid. Whose melodica is this? … Holdup… (*In Celine voice*) It’s all coming back to me now. We were about 9823 rows up sitting between Nana Mouskouri in leopard skin and the obese human version of the Paul Frank monkey while Little Dragon were blowing my tiny little mind into pieces. Yeah, that’s right. Then De La came out and Maceo was in a reindeer hat. Or was that the acid? No I can definitely hear ‘Stakes Is High’ vibrating in my head. Somebody please make it stop. (*7 panadol*) Was that Mos Def with them or just the stage hand guy? He was either rocking the mic or adjusting its stand. I don’t remember. It was definitely the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life though. I remember the word ‘Gorillaz’ written in big fuck off neon letters glowing like a gold fish on heat while an orchestra made up of some of the best musicians in the world abducted my soul. But what the fizzle was Snoop Dogg doing on the intro? And why did he think he was Gill Scott Heron? Was that Bruce Willis on bass? Whoever it was is a fucking beast. And the National Orchestra for Arabic Music? Whoa. That was just plain beautiful. I think I cried. It was very emotional. And I remember Damon Albarn and the Little Dragon girl had this ‘Mrs Jones’ thing going on. They looked so good together, kind of like Wooden Allen and his step daughter. She was probably fucking the drummer though. That guy was the dude. Yeah it was definitely either him or one of the Hypnotic Brass boys. I remember that sousaphone broke the sound barrier at one point. The highlight of the night was Bobby though. If I could’ve remembered where I put my lighter I definitely would’ve put it in the air for that song. That song was the shit. With the images of the Vietnam War in the background. Or was it a monkey? Iuno. Who cares? It was the shit. Shux. What a night. And I didn’t even know I liked the Gorillaz. I never knew that ‘I got sunshine in a bag’ lyric was about my acid. I always thought they were just a cartoon band. Guess I was wrong. They’re a fucking masterpiece. Was that really their last show though? Man. That suks. Where’s my other eyelid?

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